She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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