this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
