my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
