508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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