Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
