Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
