Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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