Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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