OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
