Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
