After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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