why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
