my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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