HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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