Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
