Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
