Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
