she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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