i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
