Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
