This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
