..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
