I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
