I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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