Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I am one with the molecules
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