We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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