Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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