you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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