Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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