I faked an abortion last night.
I think I am morally bankrupt
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
