And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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