we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
