I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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