sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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