Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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