i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
