She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
