I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
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