nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i will never coherently bang her
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
