Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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