i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
