Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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