you traded sex for a burrito?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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