We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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