Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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