Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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