Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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