every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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