I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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