YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
