i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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