I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
